Stories of Hope....
A year ago today my whole life changed. I decided to put the pipe, the bottle, and the pills down. I decided to make a change for myself, my children, and my future. After all, 8 years of hard core addiction was enough. I was 13 weeks pregnant with a child and a few weeks shy of my other child's 4th birthday. I had no job, no steady income, no routine or structure ... I was just living for the moment without a care in the world. I would go to my drug tests only hoping and praying for those 3 gallons of water that I had drank in a 20 minute period, had my system cleaned so that I could pass my test and head on to get high again after. The excessive amount of water drinking only worked for so long until I failed a test for 3 different substances. My probation officer had had enough of me and prison bound I was but because of God's grace, I was pregnant and got offered a better solution and a better help for my addiction ... Born Free.
On December 3rd, 2014 I walked into the doors of this old, creepy/haunted looking house that I never thought would help me, never thought I'd get out of and never thought I'd make it through, yet I stayed there 6 long months and was wrong about everything I had "thought" on that day. My probation officer had originally told me that this was a 90 day program but once I sat down to do my paperwork, I was slapped in the face with the words "Ms. Consumer #0561, you will have to stay until you have the baby." Six months of no family, no friends, no freedom, strict rules, routine, structure, discipline and chores sure changed me. I had my mind set that this is not what I wanted to go through or put my children through EVER again. I only had visits for 2 hours on Sundays and when my daughter would have to leave, I could see the tears hiding behind her beautiful blue eyes with innocence that kept asking "why can't you come home with me mommy?" "Why are you in this place mommy?" "When can you come home mommy?" And everything I had to tell her was lies.
On May 26th, I gave birth to an amazing, healthy, born free baby boy. I knew that two days later I would be going HOME for the first time in 6 months and the amount of emotions and feelings I had were beginning to become overwhelming. The time had come ..... The time to go home had finally came and I was scared to death! I am now 6 months out of rehab and so proud of whom I am today!!!! I have had urges, temptations, cravings, constant thoughts and dreams of how it would feel to get high just one more time. Then ... sitting in my lap and dancing around in my living room, I have these two little reminders of why I can't. My children are my life now. No more dropping my daughter off with anybody and everybody for days and days and even a week at a time. No more forgetting that my child may be hungry just because I haven't eaten in a week. No more anger when my children are fussy or wake me up throughout the night. No more pawning everything I own. No more chasing that demon. No more of anything unhealthy to my new life.
Today, I have a very good paying full time job, a nice home for my family, a car that has all of its windows and a hood that actually works (if you know me then you have seen the Lexus I used to drive), both of my children are in daycare, my fiance works his behind off to support us, I can take my drug tests without a worry in the world, I sleep all night, I eat (obviously) and I am just a happier, healthier person!!! My children know who I am. I am able to tend to their EVERY want and need. I am able to remember that they are hungry. I can get them to daycare. I can pay for their clothes, shoes, food and shelter. I can KEEP everything I get. I have to say that God works in mysterious ways! Had I not been pregnant, I would have gone to prison without a doubt. I wouldn't have the testimony that I have today without God's presence. HAPPY ONE YEAR OF SOBRIETY TO MEEE!
Testimony from ex-consumer at Born Free/New Beginnings Substance Abuse Treatment Program